


(Im) Mortality

by hellomiho



Category: Bloodbound (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/F, Kamilah X MC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-07 16:10:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18876616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellomiho/pseuds/hellomiho
Summary: It takes 70 years to forgive her





	1. Chapter 1

“Kamilah?”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t Turn me.”

Amanda turned from her all too comfortable position curled up against Kamilah and propped herself onto her elbows. The woman stared back at her, elegantly arching her eyebrows in wait for an explanation.

“Don’t get me wrong. Vampires are  _hot_ and I love the idea of spending an eternity with you. Can you just imagine the kinky shit we could get up to if you didn’t have to hold back anymore?”

“I wasn’t aware you were bored with our sex life,” Kamilah responded dryly.

“Oh my god, are you kidding? I literally think I’m going to die of pleasure whenever I’m with you. If anything, I get worried you might be bored,” Amanda earnestly denied, eyes wide as she frantically tried to prove herself, until she saw the tiny upturned quirk of her lover’s mouth. After a quick roll of her eyes, Amanda turned uncharacteristically serious.

“I know my life is pitifully short compared to yours. Maybe I’ll live to a 100 if I eat healthily,” she paused to cringe at the idea before becoming sombre again, “But to me, that just makes every moment I have that much more special. Knowing I’ll die someday makes me live so that every second of my life is worth it… I don’t want to lose that.”

Kamilah stared into those beautiful, brave, unwavering,  _mortal_ , brown eyes of the woman who had taken up so much of her heart.

“You have my word.”

* * *

Her legs were wet.

Dirty water pooled around her, a mixture of blood and gravel that drenched the fine, handwoven silk of her custom-made pantsuit. Amanda’s bleeding head lay on her lap, and Kamilah was overcome with a grief so old and yet so new to her.

She had mourned for countless lovers, many of whom she had Turned, and she had also experienced excruciating pain throughout her long-lived life. But this moment hit her with such pure, overwhelming agony, she couldn’t seem to  _breathe_. Her chest was unbearably tight, as if her shattering heart was straining to jump out and join its owner on the street.

It was too cruel that Amanda, young, bright, foolishly brave Amanda, had survived everything from Ferals to Gaius, only to die in this backstreet alley, a victim of stray gunfire.  

They couldn’t even share a final farewell.

The dimming pulse of Amanda’s heart resonated in her mind like a dying metronome, guiding her every motion as she slowly raised her wrist to her mouth, fangs readied.  

And yet…

She cradled the broken body of the woman she loved so very much as a single, precious tear slipped down her cheek.


	2. If Kamilah went against MC's wishes

It’s dark when she wakes up and although her new body feels foreign and her instincts yearn unbearably for _something_ out of her reach, she knows.

That this is not what she wanted.

The lid is taken off and suddenly blinding light washes over her, disorienting her. Her mind is struggling to adapt to this new being she’s become and it’s too much, it’s all too much. She is hungry and she can hear water coursing through the building and there is something that smells so tantalisingly tempting and she is _hungry._

Firm, muscular arms grip her from behind, careful in its touch even as she is pressed to the ground, and she forces herself to take in a deep breath and look around.

Everything still feels hazy and too clear all at the same time, but she registers the worried looks on the faces around her. One woman in particular kneels in front of her, guilt and love so prominent in those brown, bottomless eyes.

Her memories have yet to catch up, but she finds her throat closing up from both thirst and anguish. Her eyes begin to water and she hoarsely accuses, “You promised.”

* * *

 

A week passes and she finds herself sitting in front of the Council, some of whom look absolutely ecstatic that they now have power over her fate. She is a far cry from her usual self, staying silent even at pointed barbs from the Baron and Priya, when she had not needed provocation to insult them before.

 _She_ is the one who takes charge, as she always does, making a logical and perfectly defended case to the Council on her behalf. But Amanda can’t bring herself to look her lover in the eye, can’t bring herself to say anything to her.

It’s been a week full of Lily excitedly teaching her everything she knows, with added advice from Adrian and Jax. And Kamilah had been there for every second in the background, even though Amanda hadn’t once acknowledged her.  

It’s hypocritical of her, she knows. She was the one who ordered Adrian to Turn Lily without her consent because she couldn’t bear to live without her best friend. But she had _promised_ , had done so while looking straight into her eyes.

There is a part of her that wants to forget everything because she loves her and doesn’t want to spend an eternity without her, but the larger part of her feels betrayed by the woman she had placed all of her love and trust in. It is because she loves Kamilah so that she cannot bring herself to forgive her.

The vote passes 4 to 2, with Priya being the deciding vote ( _“At least you won’t be boring”)_.

She’s on her way to Kamilah’s office with everyone so that she can get branded, but no matter how much she tries, she can’t do it. She knows logically that she needs a brand to avoid going Feral, that’s what she had fought so hard for Lily to get, but the idea of receiving Kamilah’s brand, more of her blood, forever cementing their relationship as creator and created….

She can’t do that.

She splits free from their group and runs as they yell after her in shock. She may be a new vampire barely in control over her new abilities, but she needs to escape, and her body listens. It takes her far away through different allies and crowds, and when she finally stops running, there is no one after her.

She is free and she falls onto her knees, arms wrapping around herself amidst large, gasping sobs.

* * *

 

70 years pass like the blink of an eye and Amanda travels wherever she can, exploring the world and seeing all it has to offer. The risk of going Feral is always present in the back of her mind, but somehow, she is lucky enough to escape that thus far.  

Much like she thought, being an immortal 22-year old with all the time and energy in the world is wonderful; that wasn’t what she had feared.

Of course, unlike the vampires she knew, she hasn’t had years to amass a sizeable fortune with which to travel, so she does as many odd jobs in various towns as she can to fund her escapades. It’s slow and she wonders if other vampires have scrubbed toilets just to scrape enough money for plane tickets, but when she’s in a new location and immersed in a new culture, it’s more than worth it.

She’s not completely out of touch with her friends and family; she sends postcards to her family although she slowly stops including pictures of herself. She sends postcards to Lily as well, always on the day of her departure. She contemplates writing to Adrian and Jax, but Adrian’s too connected to her and Jax is also on the Council with her.

And yet after 70 years of working and travelling and working and travelling, she misses New York. She misses the first real city she’s lived in, the city that had shown her a world she never imagined existed.

She misses Kamilah.

She misses the low croon of her voice when they’re in bed together, she misses the warmth of her bottomless eyes, she misses the tiny upturned quirk of her mouth that sneaks out despite her otherwise meticulously put together demeanour, she misses the absolute sense of timelessness and utter rightness she feels when she’s in her arms…

So it’s after 70 years that Amanda finally steps foot in New York again and she marvels at how the restlessness in her heart immediately calms.

Her legs seem to know where she’s going of their own accord and somehow, she finds herself waiting in an elevator to Kamilah’s office. For a second, she’s completely terrified. It’s been 70 years and there’s a high possibility Kamilah’s moved so that her identity isn’t compromised. Hell, Kamilah might have moved on from her as well.

And then the doors open and it’s the same elegant office she stepped foot in all those years ago. What with how she looks the same, it might as well be a scene from the past.

Her heart feels like stopping but she’s run for long enough and she takes a step in. The familiar smell of Kamilah washes over her and then tears are swiftly streaming down her cheek.

Kamilah, unchanged and beautiful as ever, sits imperially at the head of her desk. Her eyes soften upon seeing her but she stays seated, holding herself with the utmost composure.

“Kamilah,” she breathes, and she’s almost embarrassed at how it comes out like a whimper, but suddenly strong arms are wrapped around her in a warm embrace and Amanda can literally die of happiness.

“Oh, habibti” Kamilah murmurs into her hair, and a fresh wave of tears hit her.

The tears are relentless but she forces herself to fight against it and say the words that have been engraved into her heart for so long.

“ _All this time... I think I was just searching for you…_ I’m sorry I took so long.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't recall who came up with Kamilah calling MC "habibti" on Tumblr but it's absolutely adorable and I had to use it.


	3. If Kamilah had run after MC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate ending to Chapter 2

...She splits free from their group and runs as they yell after her in shock. She may be a new vampire barely in control over her new abilities, but she needs to escape, and her body listens. She runs as fast as her legs will take her, until suddenly, she’s caught in a firm but gentle embrace. She recognises her smell, the smell that she still wants to drown in, and tries to fight back but Kamilah is unrelenting. 

Giving up, Amanda turns into her lover’s chest, and the long overdue tears finally spill over. 

She whimpers out, “I didn’t want this Kamilah. I don’t want this.”

There is a guilt and weariness in the older woman’s voice as she responds, that convey all of the thousands of years she’s lived.

“I know habibti, I know.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I like to use the name Vivienne for all my MC's but I saw someone else using Amanda and figured that was a nice compromise for the name Amy.


End file.
